Blog Childhood Dreams

Childhood Dreams 12/26/2011

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Since I don’t know you personally I am not aware when you decided what you were going to be when you “grew up.” Many of us had childhood dreams of what we wanted to be in the future. Others waited until later, perhaps near high school graduation or as college students. But somewhere along the way we settled into a job or career. I hope you made the right choice for you and your childhood dreams have come true.

My childhood dreams were achieved beyond the level of my young imagination. I completed a master of divinity, was ordained, and later became a chaplain at a state prison. At no time did I dream that would happen, not as a child and not later in life; but it did.

There was a young boy who grew up in West Philadelphia who was gifted with a remarkable singing voice. He dreamed of being a recording star in mid-1960. He had every opportunity to succeed. But try as he might the only audiences to hear him sing were other inmates. Nathan Chapman, Jr. sat at a desk each day outside the chaplain’s office. He was my inmate clerk. I knew he was serving a life sentence.

I could have gone to the records room and reviewed his crime and conviction, but I preferred to wait, to ask question, and have Nathan tell me about his life. He said, “If I tell you about my life you won’t like me anymore.” I assured him that would not happen, so we spent a few minutes each day talking. I took copious notes. Then it stopped. I waited. Nearly a year later he said, “I’m ready to talk now.” This time he spoke of the murder of his long-time girlfriend. To hear him tell it, Nathan was attempting suicide when his girlfriend pulled the gun away from his head and it fired; killing her instantly. “No one will believe that,” his lawyer said. “Life in prison,” gaveled the judge. Was it a wrongful conviction? Only Chapman knows for sure.

It is one thing to have your childhood dreams not mature as you wished only to set a new goal and achieve it. It is another to have your childhood dreams shattered and forever lost. Nathan Chapman’s dreams never materialized long before his arrest. His addiction to cocaine and other illegal drugs caused him to be unsuccessful at everything. When asked about his wrongful conviction Chapman said, “God allowed that to happen so I could become a soldier for Christ.” It was his dying wish, twenty-two years after being incarcerated that others may benefit from reading his life story.

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Carl J. Crawford

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